I have just finished my first year in UPM a few days ago. I was actually thinking to write the blog post when I was in the bus,on the way back to Kedah but unfortunately I fell asleep and woke up for buka puasa and resumed back my sleep after that. I was only awake when we entered Kulim ,to text my dad my whereabout. We can only plan,but God will decide…hehe
By the way now I am sitting on jati chair,it is raining outside.My brother let the sliding door opened so the wind come blowing inside. I also could listen to the engine motor noise from the road,accompanied by the sound of thunder. Alhamdulillah. This is so therapeutic . I am listening to 4 O’Clock by Rap Mon and V . I am a newborn Army thanks to Bibi lmao.
Anyways,back to finishing the first year. What do I feel? How does it change me as a person? How much did I learn? Do I make many friends? Do I lose some friends too?
Reading French in UPM was my first choice in UPU. I remembered that it was in one of my childhood’s dream to go to France or Spain to study French or Spanish. However despite scoring 10As in SPM, I was doomed. MARA unfortunately no longer sponsor for those programs. I did bad during my interview, I didn’t get scholarship for tertiary education. Because I am always interested in law and legal stuffs,I went to read law in UiTM. Well,not really read law haha. I got into Law Foundation in UiTM. And boi,I had blast alhamdulillah. I think it was the first time in my life I got to meet and befriend with like-minded people. However when deciding what I wanted to major in university, I got torn between reading law or French. I put German as my second choice,just so and law in my third choice because we had to fill in 12 choices Allahu. I decided to go with my childhood’s dream ,to read French, to become a writer, to have my own TV show, to be a journalist, to run a lingerie business and to make friends with people from all over the world.
God know best. Despite getting closer to my dream and got my first choice. I was not happy. I am now. But in my first semester I was so upset. I had a friendship break up. I lost a friend I always confided in. I lost my will to fight and to excel. Lucky me I had my asasi friends who are very supportive of me. I thought of dropping out and applied for Law UiTM or Law UM. At least I have asasi friends there.
Nonetheless, I persevered and fighted with the demon inside. I went to meet counsellor and had sessions with him. I talked to my parents and sister about this. I discussed with my friends I made back in college. I am going to do this.
The reason why I wanted to quit is because this wasn’t what I expected I would be facing and experience. When I got the offer, I was thankful and imagined my classmates would be those who read Dickens to sleep. I was wrong. Only three of us chose this as first choice in UPU, for others it was their 2nd,and even 12th! Upon knowing that, I thought to myself … Damnn I applied first for kos lelong. Kos lelong is course in which there’s no much hope to work with the degree or it is when UPU threw incompetent people into. I was wrong. Of course.
It is up to you to make the best of everything, if I went for law ; would I be happy? If it is for the prestige and glam ,it didn’t stay long. Reading law is tough. To be working in legal field is even tougher. Reading French, I would say is bearable. It is not too many compared to law. I wouldn’t excel if I were to read law. Because I know that I am person of passion , I could only do it if I have passion in it. Money- wise , I will need to work really hard to earn a lot with this degree,since it is not professional. I will be graduating with Bachelor of Arts (: and I sincerely pray it will come with honors ,Allahumma ameen.
I think I learnt more about myself this one year. It is more about self-discovery . I learnt how to control my emotions more. I learnt whom to trust and whom to not. I learnt to not expect people to love you the way you love them . I learnt to get back,even after life been throwing shit . Life never gave me lemon for me to make lemonade,so far.
I have one regret this semester, I forgot to fill in borang pindah bilik and will be sharing the small room with four people. I will make sure I don’t forget to fill in the changing room form for single room next semester. I also hope to get JPA scholarship/loan next semester in sha Allah. If not JPA, please Bank Rakyat. Pray for me.
Always keep the faith. (: