God’s Pace

In Islam, we believe in qada’ and qadar, we muslims believe in fate.

I am over the cloud today, alhamdulillah and that’s when it hits me ; most of my prayers are answered by God when the TIMING IS RIGHT. It is neither too late nor too early, it is perfect just the way God plans it to be.

I have turned into someone with high level of anxiety. I realised last night that the anxiety I have is a mask for my desperation. I am full of aspiration to successs at young age and I am too desperate not to be like my parents who live like normal people. I craved the success that will make me a renowned person. I dreamt of having my own wikipedia, hundred thousand of followers on my social media, the whole world acknowledging my presence.

Thankfully, I am no longer like that. I have stopped putting to much expectations on myself. I have accepted the fact that I might as well become a commoner like my parents. And that’s okay. My parents are happy and contented.

Furthermore after almost a year plus feeling lost, I realise there are only a few things that matter in life. Fame and wealth are none of them. They are your family and true friends.

I feel very thankful today and I pray that my life will continue like this. Ameen.

 

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just a shortie

in the midst of studying

but i am posting this so i could come back here and read

about my hopes and my optimism

lately

so many things had happened, beautiful and ugly

instead of focusing on bad days, i want to savour my good days

despite having gone through so many bad stuff this semester

i believe that with persistency and continuous effort

i will be in the place that i long to be

one day.

anyeong.

till then ❤

Lemme Whine

I am in no position to whine , my parents are still here with me ,I have a happy family with almost zero family conflict , I have no financial problem , I get sponsored , I am smart and don’t suffer from any deadly diseases , my body works wonderfully , my senses are good eventhough I am longsighted , I have a roof above my head , food on my table and a place to sleep , I have good friends , I have good teachers .

But lemme whine.

Lemme whine about when we need to walk under the hot scorching sun , or when I wake up in the middle of the night feeling freaking thirsty, lemme whine the time I got frustrated with my French that I wanna quit and go sleep in my home and regret not reading law , lemme whine the time my friends got on my nerve ,lemme whine about the time when my bank account looks sad because I went shopping a lot , lemme whine about the time the electricity in college that goes short circuit because some students cook in dorms , lemme whine about the slow bus service , lemme whine about the amount of works we need to do , lemme whine about how I am not satisfied with myself countless times and that dissatisfaction somehow reflected on how I view others.

Lemme whine about why I think I shouldn’t whine but I whine because at the end of the day I am that 20 years old spoilt girl who always has her ways easy. Not really that easy but relatively easy compared to other girls in third world countries who can’t even go study and is forced into child marriage.

I want to always be that positive person who is always motivated.But I am not , I try and things get better . Somehow there are times when I get tired with all of the bullshit I need to deal.

I don’t deserve to whine. , ya see. I am fortunate and blessed. Besides learning how to love myself and to be content , I am also learning to be grateful and positive . Just like Seokjin , I want to be a happy person who loves doing what she is doing .

It is a long journey , I am embarking that journey and it is ain’t easy.

I wish I could speak about this to my friends openly but sometimes I am a coward.

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