I didn’t intent to abandon my safe haven and I hate giving excuse but really I am just not ready to pen down my thoughts online.In the last post, approximately almost 1 month ago , I told you guys I will go to China for a week , and I mentioned about JPA PIDN . Alhamdulillah I went to China for a week and c’est superrrrr!!! Also, alhamdulillah I secured JPA PIDN .



Life so far.. I would say better than I have imagined. The fact that I had recovered from my situational depression is a blessing itself and having my dreams fulfilled is another blessing God gives me. Alhamdulillah.

This semester we have a French lecturer , he is not a French but he is from Senegal and he speaks nothing but only French in his class. Can you imagine? I take this as a challenge to work harder on my French.

College activities is bearable , it will usually reach the peak where there are tonnes of activities in the second semester of the year . Which means , YOU DIE DIE DIE . I hope I will be able to make it , I will handle a program under my secretariat , I will handle all the paperworks for mobility in France (financial and stuff) and.. I don’t know what else will come. College dinner and award day also means lots of works and rehearsal until dawn. Crazy.

Family-wise , my mom got admitted to the hospital today. I spent the whole evening bawling , Told my bestie about this, tweeted and Ig-storied as well . Pray that my mom will be okay. My brothers are doing well , my sister will graduate in a year , my dad is doing fantastic . Alhamdulillah.

I hope everything goes well , and , hmm… I went to BTS Exhibition, #RECONTRERINMALAYSIA  last week. It was my first time and I had fun . Hope to be able to attend their concert on front row!


Hoping for more happy days , thank you Allah


What’s Up Being 20


have to use IU’s photo because she’s so pretty and relatable these days


forever 16 lol

I remember distinctly crying a few months ago , confused , not knowing what holds for me in the future. I got carried away by many confusions and let the pain ate me. Then months passed and I finally okay.

So what’s up with being 20?

Well , not much really. Assuming I am leading a very normal life ; an honourable and very stereotype life. After high school going to university , grad and then hunt for jobs, get married , have kids and die. Just the normal path like everyone.

Being 20 , there’s not much improvement in term of wealth or how many places have I visited. I never really earned on my own ; besides money gifts I received for good grades I pretty much live off my parents. I also haven’t traveled many places though I really want to do so. Someday , slowly but surely.

Being 20 , I would say I could control the way I think and how I view everything. It is definitely a lesson that’s so powerful.

In my teens , I was a strong-willed girl who viewed everything in absolute matters. Now as the years passed , I got to experience life events that helped me to change my perspective and how I view myself as well as others. It is liberating and a huge relief once you aren’t too uptight .

Being 20 , I am becoming more and more accepting of who I am and carry myself better. I might be a little awkward still but I have more confidence. I do not think only of myself but also think of others , not necessarily a hardcore altruist but considerate enough .

Of course, 3 years living away from family taught me how to rely on myself and internet a lot. My counselor told me to be comfortable in my own skin. Which , I guess I am doing well right now.

Being 20 doesn’t carry much meaning actually , I learn more about myself this year and couldn’t wait to see the 21 me next year.

So, what’s being 20 means to you?

I Have Finished My First Year in UPM!


I have just finished my first year in UPM a few days ago. I was actually thinking to write the blog post when I was in the bus,on the way back to Kedah but unfortunately I fell asleep and woke up for buka puasa and resumed back my sleep after that. I was only awake when we entered Kulim ,to text my dad my whereabout. We can only plan,but God will decide…hehe

By the way now I am sitting on jati chair,it is raining outside.My brother let the sliding door opened so the wind come blowing inside. I also could listen to the engine motor noise from the road,accompanied by the sound of thunder. Alhamdulillah. This is so therapeutic . I am listening to 4 O’Clock by Rap Mon and V . I am a newborn Army thanks to Bibi lmao.

Anyways,back to finishing the first year. What do I feel? How does it change me as a person? How much did I learn? Do I make many friends? Do I lose some friends too?

Reading French in UPM was my first choice in UPU. I remembered that it was in one of my childhood’s dream to go to France or Spain to study French or Spanish. However despite scoring 10As in SPM, I was doomed. MARA unfortunately no longer sponsor for those programs. I did bad during my interview, I didn’t get scholarship for tertiary education. Because I am always interested in law and legal stuffs,I went to read law in UiTM. Well,not really read law haha. I got into Law Foundation in UiTM. And boi,I had blast alhamdulillah. I think it was the first time in my life I got to meet and befriend with like-minded people. However when deciding what I wanted to major in university, I got torn between reading law or French. I put German as my second choice,just so and law in my third choice because we had to fill in 12 choices Allahu. I decided to go with my childhood’s dream ,to read French, to become a writer, to have my own TV show, to be a journalist, to run a lingerie business and to make friends with people from all over the world.

God know best. Despite getting closer to my dream and got my first choice. I was not happy. I am now. But in my first semester I was so upset. I had a friendship break up. I lost a friend I always confided in. I lost my will to fight and to excel. Lucky me I had my asasi friends who are very supportive of me. I thought of dropping out and applied for Law UiTM or Law UM. At least I have asasi friends there.

Nonetheless, I persevered and fighted with the demon inside. I went to meet counsellor and had sessions with him. I talked to my parents and sister about this. I discussed with my friends I made back in college. I am going to do this.

The reason why I wanted to quit is because this wasn’t what I expected I would be facing and experience. When I got the offer, I was thankful and imagined my classmates would be those who read Dickens to sleep. I was wrong. Only three of us chose this as first choice in UPU, for others it was their 2nd,and even 12th! Upon knowing that, I thought to myself … Damnn I applied first for kos lelong. Kos lelong is course in which there’s no much hope to work with the degree or it is when UPU threw incompetent people into. I was wrong. Of course.

It is up to you to make the best of everything, if I went for law ; would I be happy? If it is for the prestige and glam ,it didn’t stay long. Reading law is tough. To be working in legal field is even tougher. Reading French, I would say is bearable. It is not too many compared to law. I wouldn’t excel if I were to read law. Because I know that I am person of passion , I could only do it if I have passion in it. Money- wise , I will need to work really hard to earn a lot with this degree,since it is not professional. I will be graduating with Bachelor of Arts (: and I sincerely pray it will come with honors ,Allahumma ameen.

I think I learnt more about myself this one year. It is more about self-discovery . I learnt how to control my emotions more. I learnt whom to trust and whom to not. I learnt to not expect people to love you the way you love them . I learnt to get back,even after life been throwing shit . Life never gave me lemon for me to make lemonade,so far.

I have one regret this semester, I forgot to fill in borang pindah bilik and will be sharing the small room with four people. I will make sure I don’t forget to fill in the changing room form for single room next semester. I also hope to get JPA scholarship/loan next semester in sha Allah. If not JPA, please Bank Rakyat. Pray for me.

Always keep the faith. (:


Memories With Sekretariat Akademik Kolej 12,UPM Sesi 16/17

Pheww.I better post now,or I am never writing about this,ever again.Me and my lazy bum.Well not lazy,just demotivated 😛

As we all know,I get stucked with academic stuffs ever since school because I dislike the sunshine much and I rather type long-ass report rather than marching under the hot scorching Kedah sun.Kedah is hawt,like,literally hawt.I am thankful I am now studying in Selangor for that matter,hihu.

So I was the secretary and I kept writing letters with errors on them!Ugh.So annoying.

Before jumping to the serious points,I’d like to say that degree life is so different compared to asasi life.Really.I cannot do thing I love that often.Sometimes because of the time restriction,the strength to do it,the geography ,and lack of friends….well the last one sound made-up hehe.I am just trying to gain sympathy from asasi friends who are still studying with other asasi friends (lucky ugh).

  1. I no longer do make up,that much.I am so lazy.And I have 8AM classes,I sleep at 4AM and wake up at 7AM and daa….sempatkah??? Apart from that,I don’t have Marsya to put make up on me..sobs  T_T

2. I don’t do anything crazy..anymore.I am so well-behaved and I don’t like it.In previous uni,I did :


panjat pagar mawar tengah malam


panjat menara engineering at 3am

3. Modelling HAHAHAHA Because the walls aren’t that pretty.But I did some photoshoots (HAHAHAHA) at Rumah Tradisional,wearing traditional clothes.

prolly the kayu-est model wannabe you have ever met in your entire existence XD

And so many other fun things I’d rather keep to myself.Anyway my first year as a degree student life is a serious one.Reminding me of my alma mater years.Ah well,the lecturers in asasi pampered us too much.

Let’s get started !

*Get started to what*


After the Minggu Destini Siswa ended,my MTMs told us that we needed to join 3 sekretariats.I chose academics,entrepreneur and sports .Later we went to academics meeting and I was voted to be the secretary.We were to handle a program that was new to UPM.Spill Ink Not Blood.It was previously done by the UiTM Lendu students and we would like to introduce the same program,with the same name to UPM as well.Kewl,isn’t it?

Honestly,I believe that people voted me to be the secretary because I wear glasses and look like a nerd….Yeah whatevs.

Our first program was Penblade where we had to teach elementary kids English.It was a collaboration with Englishjer and Projek Ihsan.It was held at Surau Hamideen,Seksyen 19,Shah Alam. (I LOVE SHAH ALAM)


The next program is  Aphabeats ,but it was handled amongst the third year and second year.As Dayah put it “Izat and his gang” XD

The third program and the only program handled by us,the first years ; Spill Ink Not Blood!!


It was super tiring,I tell you,handling program.We have to do many stuffs.From paperworks to dealing with the kerenah birokrasi,having your proposal/letters rejected and having to redo it and with some of the committee members acting up ; not giving much commitment. Eg ; going to IOI when we  freaking need to do rehearsel.Ended up we didn’t do the rehearsal,and they were not many commitee members showing faces when we were busily preparing for the program in the evening..The decorations hadn’t finished and honestly I was so devastated when not many showed up.Those who didn’t show up because they had classes,I don’t mind.But those who didn’t have classes yet didn’t show up…well…I just hope everyone learn their lessons.The reason why I am typing this,is because I want my readers to know this possibly happens when you handle program and to stay strong it it happens hehe #beringatsebelumkena

Alhamdulillah the program went well and the responses were overwhelming.When I heard those sweet responses,I felt immensely proud of my team!We did it!!!!


But it was fun 🙂 I am not typing this to make me look like a positive vibrant person who always look at life from angel’s point of view.But I realised and learnt many things whilst preparing for the program.I learnt soft skills,of which,I heard is something that employers looking for in their employees these days. Dear future employer,if you happened to read my public blog ,please know that I love doing works and working with humans (computers and printer as well).

I learnt how to negotiate and convince people.I learnt not to mix my personal issues with my professional work.I learn to stay calm ; even when I knew I messed things up.I learn to accept that I am flawed,and need to redo my works and hand it on time.I learnt to talk with people,professionally,over the phone.I learnt to talk to people with powers. (you know,superiors?) I learn that miscommunication always happens,and when it happens ;you shouldn’t be too hard on it.Shit happens.Handle with it with style.


thanks Dayah for the write up…hehe


The last program we had is English Drama.I was in the techincal team.It was..tiring as well.Eventhough I didn’t do much ; I was still tired.HAHA.




Halia is the director,I tagged along because “we wear the same shirt”

To wrap things up : we went for dinner at Pizza Hut,IOI.Fully sponsored by our beloved MTMs ; Dayah and Izat. Well Bro Izat.He hates when I call him ‘bro’ because it makes him feel old #oldfart but I will keep calling him that just to tease him…


Finally,I would like to thank everyone who helps me and of course to my team. MTMs ; Hidayah and Izat.My members ; Wani Rajin,Halia,Atirah,Ammar and Adibah.Couldn’t make it without you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Forgive me for my shortcomings,please! *juseyo*

Selamat ber- Leaders to future MTMs.

Dijah is signing off.





Asasi Days Were The Best Part II


most of your future lawyers 🙂


Second semester kicked off in October 2015 in UiTM Dengkil.Dengkil is a fine place,it is a small town and the UiTM’s amenities are great,really,you have toilets in your house!Right after our semester finished,everyone kept talking about how beautiful and magnificent Dengkil’s sunsets and sunrises are.Honestly,I never noticed that before.In fact I never paid attention to those stuffs…Probably because I slept during maghrib and not a very morning person hehe jk I jogged in the morning kot.


The second semester witnessed so many changes of the childish students of LWA02H.Oh,we had 2 new students enrolled into our class.(Hi Rezzan & Aini!).I was no longer got lost,I had bad reputation with not finding where our classes are and what time the class started.Some of us formed a group of close members,we dressed well also of which hm remind me of that stupid twitter/instagram drama between law students and science students regarding our black & white clothes.

We hung out amongst ourselves pretty often.Maybe even often compared to our first semester.Our class was probably the only class of which the classmates ate lunch together.We were always together,which is quite annoying because you keep seeing the same face everyday err day!


my favourite place in the Dengkil,after yummy my bed,of course.


I got so fat in UiTM Shah Alam thanks to the ayam cucuk RM1 at DC,shawarma beratoq and Oppah’s delish food.I started to work out religiously in UiTM Dengkil and didn’t eat rice for more than 20 days.Not only that,I also campaigned through what’s apps,instagram,blog and also presentations how you should be taking care of your body and watch what you eat.Dululah…it was easier back then to get fresh fruits because there is pasar malam every Wednesday and Saturday just less than 1km from UiTM Dengkil’s gate.

Talking about dramas in our class,we had some.Haha.Now it was over,I sometimes sit down and laugh at ourselves.Damnnn we were so funny!!!


we took this right after we finished our presentation for LAW087 class.I blogged about it HERE.

Optimising the newfound freedom,many of us went for hiking and waterfall trips.I usually went to IOI to shop or eat.One time,I was sooo stressed with studies that Aida,Wafi and I went to District 21 without planning.It was prompt.I told em I was stressed and said I wanted to experience adrenaline-rushing stuffs and off to District 21 we went.

There was one time we went to Putrajaya for Hot Air Balloon Festival.Bummer.Lies.We couldn’t get into the hot air balloon,okay that is pretty normal.The fact is,we barely managed to see the hot air balloons!Hanya mampu memandang dari jauh…And I bought coconut virgin oil.Motif?

But that trip was not so bad,at least we got to sightseeing Putrajaya hehe.


Right before final we went for a class trip to Broga and Bagan Lalang.Penyu became our director for the trip.Basically he arranged everything because Broga is his second home.

Before that,there were tears and quarrels here and there.Najib made fuss that he didn’t want to go and yadda yadda but he changed his mind after giving that speech for ELC class about friendship.Honestly,I was moved by his speech.You did well,Jib!

All of us gathered outside of the gate by 11PM because you are not allowed to go out from the gate after 11PM.Circa 11.30PM we all convoyed to Tom Yam restaurant and some ate,I didn’t,oh wait,I think I did,I ate Wafi’s fried rice or something but it wasn’t mine.We were to start hiking at 4AM so with the remaining time we went to mamak,parked the car at the petronas and I didn’t know what else they did because I passed out at the back seat.Sorry,wasn’t a nocturnal.

The hiking was a breeze alhamdulillah.Penyu was our guide as he already hiked Broga countless times.Every now and then I would cry for help because i) I am scared ii) I couldn’t see iii) people are leaving me.I couldn’t express my gratitude to Aida who lighted my way,Syai,Hanis and Reen of whom gave me their water.Also everyone who gave me moral supports,it really meant a lot!

Something quite funny happened during the wee-hour-hike.Aisyah hurted her toenail so she couldn’t finish to the third peak.We left her at the first peak.Aisyah,like a bawse,laid down and chillax but to her dismay people kept pointing their torchlight to her face.Thinking that she was their friend!Hahaha.

We reached the third peak at 5.30AM.It was breathtakingly and painstakingly beautiful.My friends and I laid down on a huge rock and started discussing about faith,fashion and Galileo Galilei’s theory.Then,Penyu asked us to get up hurriedly.We wondered why the hell and it turned out there were two guys taking our photos lying down.So girls,beware.Not everyone is nice at heart.


Right after the hiking we went to Penyu’s house to have breakfast.His mother is a great cook I kid you not.The food was scrumdiddlyumptious!Most of my friends’ moms are terrific cooks so there is teeny tiny probability that their kids inherit the same skills,so #RekomenJodoh

Now…The highlight of the day.Bagan Lalang,Sepang!


We did BBQ.The boys,as the leaders did most of the work hehe.Our male classmates are very gentlemen as they did their works diligently without whining.Aini’s father supplied us the marinated beef and chicken.We were lucky because there was an uncle who camped next to our lot helped us with our coal.


excusez-moi I have to chug the water blurp blurp 

While eating,we had fun in the water.I don’t know what kind of beach Bagan Lalang is but I saw hermit crab and gawddd selutttt.


Life went on like normal after that ; late night studying for finals and before we knew it,we already finished our foundation.It was sad.I have never let my guards down but I let with them,I showed them my true colour and they showed me theirs haha.



Till then,meet again in the next post !

Asasi Days Were The Best Part I

I never thought friends that I met just for a year would turn to be friends of whom I treasure a lot.Or memories that I created with them will be the one that put me to smiles when I am down.

So I decided to document my one year journey during Foundation of Law in UiTM Shah Alam and UiTM Dengkil!Please,be my guest (:


this is our first photo together,LWA01H


and my first instagram photo of us together ❤

In June 2015,I got into UiTM Shah Alam to further my studies in foundation of law KPTM (Asasi Undang-Undang KPTM).It was my first choice in UPU and nevertheless I went with heart full of hopes.

Shah Alam was a foreign land to me.I was born in Kedah,raised in Penang and Kedah,both my parents are from Kedah,my alma mater was also situated in Kedah.Therefore,it was my first getting out of my comfort zone.

I did many of my ‘first’ here.First time wearing makeup,first time wearing shawl (bawal before haha),first time eating out with male classmates (I was from all girls!!How could you) ,first time taking lrt,first time going back and forth to home with flight (or belon as Sarawakian calls it),and many of other firsts of which I want to keep to myself.


Yes,that was my place back in UiTM Shah Alam.All of the foundation students stayed at Kolej Mawar for females and Kolej Perindu for the males.My roomates were so nice,we were four in that room.Three of us were Asasi Law students while one of are foing diploma in music (Hi,Suhana!).Because of our furniture arrangement,we had this large space in the middle of room of which we optimise the usage to eat,pray,lepak or sleep.The latter was quite frequent.

That was me,applying lipstick onto Aisyah’s lips.Who knows till now we still keep in contact (yeah..twitter every night all night).That was a cheap lipstick that Marsya gave me.She made me pay her rm5.I think it was the kind of lipstick that followed your blood colour (?????!!!) Nevermind,nowadays I use NYX or L’oreal.I am aiming for a MAC soon.

What to miss the most about Shah Alam is its cheap,affordable and delicious food!!!During my 4 months stay there,I went to Murni four to five times.Yep,the reason why I gained 7kgs wuwuwuw T__T .

The portion is to-die-for.Marvelous!Marvelous!Delicious!Sometimes we also went to Seksyen 2 to eat the ais kacang.And yes,the portion is so generous I bet you couldn’t even finish it in one sitting.Maybe you can,if you are that famished or kempunan.White rice with ikan bakar and stir-fry veggies only cost rm4..You won’t get that price in UPM.Or..I haven’t found the right place yet.Stay tuned!I will update if I found a freaking cheap eatery circa UPM!

trips to Murni :’)


sahabat pokok

I honestly think that reason why our class is close and knitted is because we are children.Most of us act like children,yes we were matured when we were in law classes but then outside..gosh…we were so playful!Even the lecturers commented the same.They said our class was ‘lively’.

Law faculty is not too distant to Mawar,it takes you only 10 minutes and you have to go pass males hostel of which I was so embarrassed to do.But I did anyway.Sometimes the buses weren’t enough.Our class waited under the tree for the bus.It was our place until some other students from other classes decided to join as well.

 during classes,I miss Madam Atifah’s,Mr. Waseem’s,Sir Abang’s,Madam Jane’s,Madam Ananda’s and Ustazah’s classes a lottt.It was fun studying with you guys!

Sometimes we went to lepak at Masjid UiTM Shah Alam because of the air-cond.Sometimes it was just me with Aisyah and sometimes some other classmates joined in.We also went to the Pusat Sukan to play or realistically threw the ball here and there,telling to others that you are tired then make a halaqah and chit chat for the rest of the day.Haha.

We also went to Faridah’s house for Hari Raya!!Her mom’s cooking was freaking delicious.Jee kept asking for the recipe while Najib and Amir asked to tapau. #shameless

Bal and I also discovered UiTM’s deers!We were jogging around UiTM and stopped at the famous fountain and then I heard a sound.Only to realise there were deers!!!Bal was elated,me?No.I am afraid I am not much of animal lover,hehe.

Besides I also managed to do some charity with my classmates.We washed the prayer clothes of our faculty’s musolla using the washing machine of course.Jee got excited and put way too many detergent into the washing machine.And guess what happened?It was over flooding and I,as usual started to freak out.Nothing happened,I guess many females have experienced this.We want our clothes to smile as fragrant as possible that we put in too much detergent.

As you can see here,Wafi was putting on shawl on me :’) I started my  appearance transformation in Shah Alam.Many of my classmates taught me how to dress up,how to mix and match your clothes,how to choose for the cheapest price and many more.

let’s not forget the day Jee forced me to wear tudung labuh…that jubah was hers as well

Sambutan Hari Raya that was held by foundation law students


Great memory this one.Thanks to Wafi,Pales and Aisyah!!!


There are actually many of misunderstandings in our class during our first sem.First it was the attempt to overthrow the sacred seat of class rep,then it was the love stories hehe otherwise we were doing fine in the first semester.


last class with our mom,Madam Ananda.



Oooops,I didn’t mention about how we study right?I’ll write about it in my next post.Till then!